Old dreams that I remember

In some exotic setting, with a tribe that greeted one another with "kip vari-vari". Mikey was somewhere downhill, in a hut. As I went to find him, everything turned into a "Club Med" site, then into a musical, with chorus girls singing:
Keep the vari-vari for me!

Which may be an indication about my accent in English.


Two houses, connected by a fun slide. Children sliding, me too. At the bottom everybody preparing for a party: my mother, Lilian's mother, her carekeeper, maybe more women baking pies and patés.
Guests would be come to yet another(?) house. I wanted to change, but in front of drawers was a curio closet with lots af fancy stuff. Very unstable, would wobble if I tried to move or rearrange. It also had a huge cast iron cat hanging on a shelf - maybe that's what made it unstable. I took it away ... found underpants.


Complicated story with an optimizing program – I was trying to finish it, but there were children around, my father, Justi – maybe it was for him. I explained to my father how EXCEL works. Justi and I were both military. A kid (which was also a kitten) tore a corner from a page in my book so I beat him and explained to his nurse that was educational.


Staying with friends, took a walk, could not find way back. Then found a fair, some people offered to direct me, still could not find house. In the meantime, some volcanic activity, then a snowy land ...


I was at work, with Steve and Mai nobody else. Talked about Rte 707 in VA, the river and scenery. I could not understand what they were telling me, just nodded and hoped for best.


Visited Lilian at work, then could not find ID to get out of jail. The prisoners were swimming in a river.


Lilian and I were back to school, reading, each pupil in turn, some foreign language; I was unprepared. Then I was rearranging old clothes and house stuff from a suitcase; there were too many sweaters. Then I was trying to make pizza – didn't work.


Left with a kid – their family rented Arlen's room. Decided to return library books. When Lilian checked which were which, we found some from the local library, others from Tel Aviv University. I also found the kid's passport, but he wanted to keep it himself. The TAU books did not look like mine – they were about social work or criminology. Maybe Arlen's? The parents returned, both very ugly people, he had buck teeth, she very bad skin. I asked them if these were their books. The father had taken them out a long time ago. We started talking about TAU, she asked me about professors there, I said I only knew those of 25 years ago. I told them I was through with math, and they said: "You couldn't do it anyway". We found a diploma – a PhD about some exotic religion Phat. I wanted to find the date, but the Hebrew numeral did not make sense.
I was trying to write down my name and phone number for them, we were living about a block away, but I started without glasses, and the writing looked terrible, even after I put the glasses on.
Out of nowhere she told me: "You are shy and somewhat suicidal," and I agreed. Then she started analyzing me, very accurately. I agreed with everything she said, but at the end I told her : "You are a dream", and she said : "Yes". So we hugged and I went away, but it was a very long way home, even if (even though?) I could fly.

All this combined with a walk in Bucharest, from home to school. I was impressed with the new buildings and street, then I told myself: I am dreaming America. There were lots of flags, not belonging to anyone.


A picnic on the beach in Bat Iam, lots of fancy foods and drinks. Sometimes we had to swim between beaches. Dangerous enough to drown? Hleatcu ?
Suddenly war; Liliana wanted to go first to Tel Aviv, but I went straight home to Holon, walking under big highways. Some soldiers landed, I passed between them as if invisible.


In a bus in Tel Aviv, there was an older man scolding a boy (the youth of today!) and he insisted talking Yidish. I answered somehow. Then we got to a subterranean passage, very Rothenburgish looking. I half walked, half flew through.


Near my mother's house in Holon, looking for a dentist - a relatively young woman - not so good, but graduated in Israel. She then went and talked on a public phone. Got an explanation that the phone call was unrelated to anything else, big artistic deal.


Some people came to me with stuff about frequencies. The documentation was old computer printouts, redesigned as curtains with ornamental fringes – in the fringes there were colored stones, beans, some insects (bug!) I could not read them, but it made sense - in a dream I cannot read.


A movie hall, where I was invited from work - very full, surround vision, but could not see very well. Something to do with briefcases, my mother, Maabarot? Then I was on a ship on the sea, people taking turns shooting at airplanes - explosions. Some kind of amusement, people jumped in the sea to swim. One said "After such fun, how can I keep wearing green?" (doctor, surgeon?). So he stripped naked. After that came a big wave a la Poseidon, but it just put the ship back on the deck for the next tour. I didn't know where exactly I was, needed a taxi to Holon.


Unpleasant dream, I was shopping at the market in Bucharest – it was unbelievably crowded, one had to crawl through some pipes, people packed as in a bus. Before that I was waiting on a beach, but there were too many rotting animals .


I was in the military, with a wounded toe and lying in bed in Tzrifin. A guy came to discuss satellite reception – I had written the original program. It was all about connecting in the mountains and valleys of Iraq. Then we walked across a vague terrain with dirt heaps, etc. to some houses nearby, where old people were living. I was looking for water to wash my toe. By the fountain, an old woman talked to me – her face was covered by a green crust, under which one could see the skin. I thought this was leprosy – why green?

We were waiting for the final formation to go home, I was sure my father would fix my toe. In any case, I couldn't join the formation, I had no clothes, just pyjama(?) shorts. Another guy who had not the right uniform came to the bed and we both covered ourselves with the blanket, so it won't show.


I was with my parents, Justi and his parents. I knew my parents were dead, so I was wondering how they were interacting with everybody, and wanted to ask Justi. Then I noticed that my parents copied my gestures – so I understood they were just in my mind. I wondered if Justi was also just in my mind.


I had to go with my father to my school at 9:30. At 9 I was somewhere else, downhill in the SF Presidio so my mother sent me home (in the Presidio, somewhere higher, maybe our actual address in the Presidio). A little hard climbing up, but I was sure I would arrive in time, except I got lost, in some places I could not recognize at all. Some soldiers were exercising – somehow from DLI, we talked about Hebrew. Then their chief, a woman LT or so, proposed to show me the way. We had to cross a hill with some waterworks – a big factory-like complex, and a tunnel. From that point there was a view of the bay, with a tower on the shore, which distressed me a lot – I knew I should not be near that. Anyway we started climbing on some rocks, she went fast ahead, and then there was a rockslide and I got caught in rocks and rubble.

At that point I woke up (or dreamt I woke up) but the dream went on. I was out of the rubble and was trying to get someone with a map of Pebble Beach (somehow the Presidio became that) or a phone to call home. When I actually had to phone, I could not remember the number.


With Liliana Shor and her girlfriend, driving. Somehow LS was out of the car while her friend drove. I threw away some clothes that had got tangled in the wheels, then LS came in and sat in front. We were passing by some huge buildings, with colorful decoration – Chinese? Chinese appartment buildings? one had TEMPLE written big. Then we got to a museum, which was also extremely big and spacious, and fancily decorated – I appreciated the design. Modern Romanian art? Some I liked, some I didn't. There was a cartoon of a couple making love, big grins a la Playboy, and the man on top busily writing a note on a small pad on the woman's breast. Seemed very funny, then I said to myself: If I'm dreaming this, I'm really bright.


We were renting from the Beviers, and were there with Justi's parents who had come to visit the west coast. Big worry not to wreck their house, everything I touched broke down. The B were tinkering about, hammering at night, quarreling in Japanese. We were suppused to fly to the Caribbeans, but it was Easter (it is Easter) and it was hard to get tickets. Just got to Holland – not too bad.


Went to a show in RamatGan stadium, with a young couple. Left the car in parking, and walked to the show - dancing. When they started to sing, everybody left, and our party split apart. I was walking on the street, not very sure where the parking was, and found gold jewelry. Another guy saw me and took it from me. I kept finding, and he kept reappearing. We met a lot of religious people, then I understood that all the jewelry fell of their clothes, because they were not allowed to wear it, only sew it to the clothes. I had so much gold it was heavy and embarrassingly tinkling. Then I decided to return the jewelry – jazir bitxuva?! – although many people were very happy gathering it, especially the actors from the show. Somehow they had made everybody leave on purpose, just to get gold.

Eventually I got to the parking, but "the Physics is hell" – from that point on only monsters, etc., with a lot of episodes in an unpopulated scenic city. Out of every house came some ghost, to turn you into stone, etc. Quite long, not really frightening.


Meeting with Maabarot colleagues Paula, Dan Segal in some kind of restaurant where, instead of sitting at tables, we were hanging on the wall, about 2nd story level above the floor.


Driving – if I only had a map. There were 3 guys, each had to participate in driving (one brake, one gas one steering ?) The one on the right did not collaborate. We were driving in beautiful seaside city, SF or Vancouver.


I had to teach at Tel Aviv but remembered that I had not yet got the courses schedule. Somehow i had a very firm deja vu of teaching differential equations to uninterested class, got uninterested myself... also of going to hear lectures, but losing interest.
Went to the university, met David, but somehow ended in the street without pants, so I got taken to the mental hospital. I was put in a kind of bed with gratings, which could rise very high (the bars rose too). There were kids bothering me, so I pissed on them from my high bed – whathehel, I'm crazy, maxtin aleika mimigdal gavoha.


dream 6/9/7
A poem for me – at NPS or so. I was checking students' work, making all kind of corrections, including indents, when I found this poem in praise of me – the only one in 60 years. But I had to explain to the student what a failure I am – working on one year contracts vs my colleagues, who got chairmanship at the University of Maryland, or Brown University.

Sa laudam pe domnul dumnezeul nostru, motanul si crocodilul!
Ca daca nu-l vom lauda
  Ca daca nu-l vom lauda
    Ca daca nu-l vom lauda
Se lauda singur!

Ca daca da, ca daca nu
Nu-l laud eu nu-l lauzi tu
Se lauda singur!

Ca daca nu, ca daca da
Ca daca nu-l vom lauda
Se lauda singur!

dream 6/10/7
We were remodelling, so I could not stay home. I found a place in some attic. Unfortunately, everybody found the same place, all the Romanian maids and Petre.

I was returning home, but missed my place. I realized that the bears had taken over the world, and I wondered "What about hibernation?"
Then I found some elephants in a ring, with the boss elephant in the middle. He said:
An elephant answered "nuts" so the boss kicked him in the nuts. Then the boss said:
and again an elephant answered "nuts" so he got kicked in the nuts. The boss said:
After a long hesitation an elephant answered "nuts". He got a fantastic overhead kick, so he flew in the air and fell on the boss eleplant. Both exploded, in a very realistic flesh-pink and crimson splash. At which the remaining elephants sang the "Ode to Joy".

Tare de demult

Mamere cupletista:

Imi pun rochita mea de vara
Cea mai sumara
Cea mai vulgara
Sa vada toata lumea foc si para
Cind ma duc eu sa vad Hamlet!

dreams 6/15, 6/16/7

I was at home, and a young beggar came to pester me; I could not get rid of him till I gave him $5.
I decided to fix the fence around the house, so intruders won't get in so easily. Somehow the road passed through the house and I was not surprised that he came to me as I was sitting at the table. That house had a lot of unused rooms and bathrooms.

I went to a free stand-comic show; I thought I recognized Shmulik who was sitting in the first row and tried to get near him (with great doubts that he really wanted to see me). It was very crowded; I found some coins, and also lost my clothes but picked some other clothes – people left clothes in heaps around. Big problem, clearly there were no pants to fit me. Then I realized it was not Shmulik, and started walking home.

On the way , uphill,some new exchange of clothes from a heap; there was a sweet girl trying to guess facts about people - she said I was from Jerusalem, also something (wrong) about another girl. But I left, uphill in hot weather. I got very tired, hid in a building corridor (full of chemicals and dirt, which somehow I liked, and made a song about) and slept till evening. Then I continued, but at a certain point realized I actually was in Jerusalem. Then I lost my mind, and was spending my life in the loony bin.

dreams 6/28/7

Bigi came to visit us at Monterey. Then I realized it was 4am, and was very upset. On top of which lots of her friends came in, while I was trying to fall asleep again, or dress.


I was in some office, or school, and wanted to wrap up the working day – had to timepunch. Somehow did not work. Somebody showed me how to fix the computer, pushed some buttons and the machine started decomposing, pieces moving apart by themselves till it broke down completely. In the meantime, cleaning people came to clean the room, the lights turned off, etc. So I got out of the room with all my stuff and was trying to dress up, when some kid yelled at me "Are you a Turk?! you don't know what you're doing, idiot!" . So I yelled back, at which he produced a lot of associates, who were supposed to beat me, but somehow it got postponed...

dream 7/16/7

With Liliana at a sale. She found a strange tank top+shorts combination for me – will it fit my belly? fits. Thick woolen, must be worn over ... what's its use?
It's a gift from the secretary – don't forget to say thank you at the wedding.
Not my wedding, that was a long time ago, whose? The top+shorts combination was to produce a fake broad chest.

dreams 7/18/7

Remembering all kinds of old stuff – all written down in some diary, but also happening at the same time. I was with my parents, Justi and his parents visiting some city. Everybody was having fun, but I wanted to sleep. Got somewhere on the tram, and had to come back on foot. Then it happened again, but at least I knew the way back


Alexandra with her baby and husband, had bought the balcony + appartment accross from Bibi. I wanted to tell them about acacias. Big baby boy, shat and pissed.


My parents went shopping, I went after them on a long boulevard, with lots of people. Met my father, went together to see my mother still shopping, so we returned home, but my father walked very fast so I got left behind. Returned to meet my mother. In the meantime I was listening to people speaking Romanian. Some called me, and I pretended not to understand, but they knew me.

Actually this dream began at school, where a new teacher of economics? assigned a lot of homework. Somehow I gathered everyone's work and took it home to correct? register? Of course, Bucharest home. All the pupils also came to my room, working on their stuff quietly, then left. I was trying hard to pack all these papers, then I heard that because of budget reduction the next economics class will be in two weeks. I wanted to know how the classes got reduced, but all the afternoon hours were the same, I still had classes every day. Then I went after my parents.

dream 7/20/7

Somehow we were emigrating to Australia. At the airport, we got into a hall, while waiting for the luggage to pass customs somewhere else.

In the hall there was a "nature exhibit": a muddy pond with black and white swans, some big white parrots floating under the water, flat toads that would puff steam if annoyed (and you were allowed to annoy) some other frogs that turned into balls. There were aborigines talking in their language – I asked one what the language was, and he replied that none of the sounds matches English. I told him it's the same with Romanian. Everybody spoke in a very strange accent so I was not sure what they said. Someone told me how nice my father was – I fully agreed.

Then we got to another room. There, through a cat-door in the wall they sent in cockatoos and other birds, although somebody had brought a dog, and the dog mauled the birds. Some feathers fell, with exquisite patterns. Then in came a bird the size of an ostrich. When it opened its wings, it was so beautiful, it was clear why it's a bird of paradise.


I had listened the evening before to Irish on the net; I also found ARKive a while ago. But the dream is pure wish fulfillment, everything so beautiful – I am finally welcome, and the mess (customs) is away, without me. Not understanding what people say and not being able to read are patterns in my dreams.

dream 8/10/7

It started with fitting my car inside someone else's car and driving away in both. I was asking myself "Why? What if he looks for his car and doesn't find it?"

Then I got to two younger women, physicians, and I started cooking, while they had breakfast. Suddenly all kinds of plastic started moving and changing shape – somehow seemed cute. Some turned into dogs, then mated, then had puppies. Others just kept dividing, till there were some plastic ants or fleas, that crawled on our skin. Tried to take them off, but there was no solid soap, only liquids, so I mopped them off with dough. Not efficiently enough, there were too many. I thought they got small enough to invade from inside, like germs, and asked the physicians if I had fever, and maybe we could use antibiotics.

In the meantime we were also looking at other appartments (this was Bibi's terrace, and we could see other terraces, and a big pool on the ground) to check if other pieces of plastic were transforming...

dream 8/12/7

We got a calm, isolated hotel room, and Liliana left; then I got invaded by lots of people – all the hotel staff that had a wild party there. It was half basement, so I mooned people on the street, the window was just at the right height, and they were playing "Blue moon". I was trying to talk to a girl: "English? Francais? Volapuk?" at which she answered : "La pute, c'est toi!"
On the street people were standing in line to get by our party. Liliana could not get back, she was lost in the hotel.

dream 8/21/7

In some military training. Not too bad, I could find rooms to sleep alone. Till it rained through my window, so I moved to another bed. Then some MP came to the door to piss through the keyhole. So I trashed him, but was looking for another place to sleep. When I got there, the local boss wanted to punish me, but, being drunk, beat somebody else.

The worst being that in the morning we had to go to town, although it was a weekend and I hadn't slept that night. Some buses gathered us and we were in Iraq, but only certain streets were dangerous, the rest marked "safe". However I got into a terrorist group (speaking English for concealment?!) So we went to a caffe patronized by unbelievers, and were pretending to sell sweets, etc, while the rest of the group prepared an ambush. However, the rest of my military unit got to a reception, where there was a masked ball. In their costumes, they came and saved the situation.

dream 9/2/7

We had too much fruit – already rotting, so we made jelly. Papina, then my father at work, too busy to talk.


I am worying about too much to do during weekend, Mike's HTML, my java.

dream 9/12/7

with Liliana and Mike in London. Watching a movie, many strange disparate episodes:

The movie was outside, and between the episodes we would go around to gather stones? there was a shallow pool garnished with round stones and fancy crystals under water.
Then we walked around, lost in London. Many fancy buildings that we could not recognize, nor read what was written on them – some just blocks of stores in palace-like structures. There was a citadel on the river, some more pools with strange tadpoly fish; we needed an underway station to orient ourselves, but could not find one. Liliana just walked ahead, sure of recognizing everything, but it did not match.

dream 9/14/7

At Tel-Aviv University, in an office which was also Nima's room, we had scratced some formulas and reminder notes on the wall...
I was wondering whether to return to USA. Nima gave me a letter she had written herself – very neat writing, but all I could see was 'a good boy', then I put in in an envelope for later. I was very upset, needed time for everything to sink in; Nima hugged me to calm me down, but said I should not mention her in my interviews – how could I, she appeared as my thesis advisor. I left, with great doubts that I could leave – maybe I was supposed to teach, and I could not remember what and where, and was ashamed to ask. Then I convinced myself that I had some other job, was not teaching at TAU.
Anyway, I left, with the usual misery on the way: a wet road, inundated road, got to a bus station I didn't like because the buses arrived already full, etc. Everything through a fancy, hacienda-style TAU campus.
I was glad I woke up.


I pretend to look for a job, sent resumes (not 'Razors pain you') even went to interviews. The last was with a forreal research group, and I would love to play with them, but I am very much afraid I can't anymore: not program, not learn, certainly not create.

dreams 10/15/7

Some kind of revelation about the mechanism of languages: what exactly is a proper noun... All this from a sample text in a kind of lojban, where all the words started with a dot.


The typical dream sensation of knowing the meaning of life, or such.


I had just finished printing my epochal discovery, it was a set of large sheets in a big 1'x2' envelope. I was supposed to present the material at some conference, and Liliana was supposed to take me to the airport. In my room (the bedroom in my Ein Iahav apt) I was trying to pack for the trip: could not find socks or underpants. My father was sleeping in that room, rather unfriendly, and I was sure he had hid my stuff. I could not find my precious envelope either, nor remember what it was about. I accused my father of destroying me (reverse Freud). He was strangely uninvolved.

dreams 1/4/8

Somehow I was Julius Caesar crossing the Alps. We (the Romans) were plundering the local population, who were running away with their sheep. Then we got to some stronghold: the road went up in the mountains, but most people lived in the valley. They were not hostile, so we decided to capture that region by guile – get them drunk and catch their leaders. We even sent some ladies to the local market, to buy cloth and pretend they liked it.

While the legions arrived on the road and built their camps on the hilltops, in the valley we entertained the population with a show: whales and dolphins in a lake.

dreams 1/30/8

At work, somebody who was both Altus and Joel Buchinger came to my desk and we worked together. Then he left. I wanted to leave also, so I made some order on my desk. There was some of his food, a salad and boiled parsnip. Then some of his books, that I put on his desk. Then I realized that none of the stuff was mine: every book I opened I did not recognize. One book only had replicas of its cover on every page. Then I stopped transferring books from my desk to his and left and woke up – I dreamed I was waking up.

dreams 2/9/8

Nana went to Mongolia to study medicine. Started by learning Mongolian, travelled a lot. But what's the use of becoming a physician at 60?

dreams 2/14/8

O mathématiques sévères 

In Eden, as I walked around,
I heard the cherubs sing:
"See all the splendor others did?
Where is your splendid thing?"

That's, oh my friends and oh my foes,
The why and wherefore:
I stood it for some twenty years
Can't stand it anymore.


The point being that the verses came to me in my dream.


Wedding in Israel, I got measured for golden pants. As my parents were sleeping, suddenly all the TVs and radio turned on – I tried to stop them , but could not. My mother came and showed me that I had touched by mistake the general ON switch. Then she told me the pants won't be ready for the tarantella. Instead, the tailor gave me a violin, with a few bows – one very exotic, in the shape of a toucan.

toucan bow

Also a strange box - some primitive idiophone.


As for the tarantella – I only dance at weddings, christenings and funerals. Am I getting ready for mine? And my dancing is best described in my father's words "wie a baer in die roschene" "like a bear in dough".

Pe romaneste suna mai bine: "dansul ursului in aluat" sau "ţonţoroiul pe butoi" (de la Justi).

dream 2/22/8

I was with my parents on a cruise, then suddenly my mother came telling us she had been fired, because there were only women physicians and a man was needed (patient segregation by sex? Liliana just told me about inmate segregation, so blacks won't fight with Mexicans, etc. Clearly, in my dreams my mother is Liliana) I started thinking about selling houses – from Bucharest and Monterey – about getting a job – but nobody wants me, etc. Glad I woke up. A lot of nightmares lately.

dreams 3/1/8

A very messy theorem at a seminar – Dan Amir was there and also Beni Perlman, doing a master in astronautics. An extraordinary complicated proof about the section of a n-dimensional body, with definitions inside definitions, at some point a square matrix of definitions... I quit following quite early. And on top of everything, pretending to be applied math: if a spaceship would approach a planet, it might choose this optimal section, and if we noticed that it did, it meant that those beings knew at least that much math – quite a lot.


I was in a military base, in a hotel? there was Coca, and some other woman who kept complaining about Hotel Sanchez, where we had been before, too much below her expectancies. Then I left and went for a walk(!) I met some people organizing religious processions (Easter?) which I wanted to avoid. On my way back, I worried that I didn't have the military ID, and could not get back on base (Monterey? Presidio?) Anyway, I started running(!) uphill, surprised that I could. Found all kind of fancy sites, including some Gutzonesque sculpture, but could not get to the hotel.

I woke up, hot with a dry throat.

dream 3/20/8

A very complicated story, but one interesting bit is about one new immigrant in Israel, and a woman who tried to communicate with him, but without any common language, she just touched her knee. The man thought "I just came, and now she shows me her foot, meaning "go away"!". But it was the right knee, so she meant "Right!" to whatever he had done.

The pun only works in English.

dream 3/23/8

I brought a compressed bus, it looked like a big yellow board. As I was crossing the street with it, people were upset. Then Liliana came, and I laid the board on the road, and it inflated back to a bus with driver. She got on, with some other passengers and the bus left.

I took the elevator home (eighth floor? was not sure). Two old ladies in the elevator told me to hold to a middle bar, the elevator changes direction abruptly. It did, and landed in some place with restaurants (in SF). I started to walk home, barely evading some trams that ran by me. I passed by another restaurant, where a man was proud (or ashamed?) of having stuck his thumb the sugar bowl. All the customers told him they did the same. The restaurant was a "create your pizza", you just held a big pan, and anything you thought about grew on the pizza.

dream 3/27/8

... in a train on a trip, so I got to France and somebody gave me local money for the lunch as a courtesy (an organized trip?) Anyway, an exact sum, all kinds of coins, big and small, plus a few chestnuts. One of the coins immediately rolled away, but I thought I can always add a dollar as a tip or someting...

dreams 3/30/8

I was explaining my divine music . Then I noticed that the music notebook was on the ceiling, stuck over the aircondition slits, and I had written on that page, in red crayola, an alphabet starting with alefain...

In real life I don't notice such details.


We were in our house in Bucharest, and had to leave, because we were suspected by Saddam Hussein – really dangerous. But my mother postponed for next week, because we were waiting for some checks.


I was hot and woke up. Basically, such unpleasant dreams just mean that I'm unconfortable, and want to get out of that situation – quite literally, get out of bed.

dreams 6/22/8

Am stat doua zile la Justi. Eu dormeam in dormitorul oficial , si ei in cealalta camera. Bineinteles nu mai puteam de bine. La un moment dat au inceput sa discute daca pot sa treaca injectia ca forta majora ca s-o plateasca asigurarea – tanti Pepi lasase prin testament 175000, dar injectia costase 30000... La care mi-am zis ca totusi merita, fiindca era sanatoasa si activa, dupa ce statuse atita timp nemiscata cu Parkinson. Dupa care mi-am zis ca sint amindoi morti si mi s-a facut tare rau la ideea ca ii consider reali – dar ei n-au observat. Mi-am zis ca pot sa ma trezesc din cosmar - pe drum de la ei acasa. Intre timp Nene Jean si cu Justi mi-au explicat planul cum Justi sa fie comis voiajor (auzi! cu o valiza in mina! cu un plan in cealata, si in valiza piesa cea mai mica a motorului), si nene Jean sa mearga cu el sa aiba grija de masina.

N-am mai putut rezista si m-am trezit. Dar eram intr-o camera necunoscuta, nu la ei si nu la mine. Imi lasasera un document prin care capatam Himalaia si Hawaii cu un hotel, si o macheta de munte acoperita cu cristale galbene – din Peru. Am inceput sa bat la usa si sa strig : Justi! Au aparut doua fete (in vis stiam cine sint, acum am uitat) si nevasta, strigind: Surpriza! Eu in plina isterie si plingind am sarit la nevasta sa ma ajute: N-ai mai vazut nebuni? M-am apucat sa-i explic ce disperat sint ca mi-e bine doar cu mortii. Cind i-am povestit ca stateam la ei in dormitor, mi-a zis "Asta-i semn ca sint morti, mortii nu dorm..."

In fine m-am trezit, foarte multumit ca s-a terminat visul.

dream 7/29/8

Eram, bineinteles, acasa la Bucuresti, cu parintii in camera mea si jucam bridge, dar nu cu carti adevarate. Se jucau 4 cupe, dar la un moment dat suita era cupoane de unt, ceeace mi s-a parut foarte rezonabil, dar din pacate cineve a pus 1 kil de unt si eu aveam aceeasi carte, tot 1 kil, asa ca s-a stricat jocul. Dupa care i-am intrebat de ce nu folosim carti normale, ca doar avem (vag: din croaziera?)

Ma mere renova apartamentul ala, ca sa-l vindem si sa ne intoarcem in Israel. Eu nu mai aveam rabdare sa stau in Romania, dar mamere tot amina. Dupa care m-am apucat sa-i intreb cum au reusit sa cumpere casa noastra originala. Ma priveau tare consternati. I-am intrebat cind s-au intors din Israel la Bucuresti, ca nu tineam minte – ma priveau si mai consternati, si nu intelegeam de ce. Le-am spus ca si pe mine ma preocupa casa, o visez in fiecare noapte. Pina la urma am reusit sa obtin un raspuns: "Casa a cumparat-o un arab de-al nostru." Nu mi-e clar (si nu mi-era nici in vis) ce inseamna, si tot nu mi-au spus cum a ajuns la noi.

Faptul ca nu vroiau sa raspunda – tacerea, cei mai tacuti sint mortii.

dreams 10/3/8

Some kind of twilight zone.

I was on the public beach, but I went behind the building (to piss?). Then I saw a sand dune and I wanted to find out what was behind it, so I climbed and found some tall plank fenced entrance. I went in, but could not come out – the fence barred every direction. I got very tired and fell asleep. Then I heard someone behind the fence, he just pushed aside one of the planks and came in. He told me : "Don't worry, the sea is less than a mile away". And so it was, and between us and the sea a busy highway. I told him "This must be the road to Monterey". He answered: "What Monterey? the buildings you see in the distance are suburbs of Miami."

Somehow I wanted to make a TV episode from the whole story, kept rearranging details. It seemed rather creative and atypical for me, just the reason I like dreams.


I was with Liliana and we were both working on some program. The boss also came and I was trying to show him what the program did – he looked very skeptic. I had the program on a screen, and I could copy it to a paper notebook just by pressing the page with my finger. I was surprised, but I am not really au courant with all the novel techniques... besides, it didn't work, and I could not find a clean page to copy, etc.

dream 10/5/8

We were at a British movie about someone who was shooting happy-making pellets. One hit some gangsters who were taking someone for a final ride they all ended dancing and laughing. Then there was some institute for problem children – at one table some professors who were supposed to certify it, at the other the children, with attendants, and everything went wrong. They were feeding the children and offered some of the bread to the professors who refused in horror. But a pellet fell in, and the professor concluded: "My computer says no, but I say yes!.

Finally there was a very dark scene, with a vague mammoth carcass hanging in the middle. There was a voice, asking questions , I guessed it was some contest, but I could not understand, except the word "carbonization". But then the lights came on, and I saw it was a contest about who gets carbonized, and the voice was God's: there was a kind of mud pit, with all kinds of animals sunk in, some elephant trunks still protruding... It had turned from movie to live show (at a certain point I was surprised that the movie images look so solid and 3D). The chairs sunk into the floor and the actors mingled with the audience.

I can surprise myself in my dreams, and sometimes I have a different personality, that's why I like dreaming.

dream 10/31/8

Desmierdind pe Rhys

Intii dormea si ceilalti doi se descurcau. Dupa care a aparut foarte vesel si plin de rahat, drept care l-am luat in baie (la Bucuresti, evident) sa-l spal. Dar oricit il frecam si il stergeam, nu se termina. Aveam si mari probleme cu robinetele, care ori dispareau, ori functionau nestandard si mi-era frica sa-l oparesc. Intre timp se umplea casa cu tot mai multi plozi, toti pe capul meu.

In aceeasi noapte, poate impreuna

Studiam impreuna cu nevasta la nu stiu ce universitate. Am sosit in clasa, dar am plecat sa luam benzina? Pe drum a pocnit o roata, asa ca ne-a luat timp cu garajul, si am intirziat la nu stiu ce examen, la care nu ma pregatisem, ca imi ziceam ca e in stil american, prea usor si neserios. Ma si intrebam cum are timp nevasta de studii, ca doar lucreaza 25 de ore pe zi. Dupa care mi-a lasat niste hirtii? si a plecat. Urma sa ne intilnim la alta clasa, dar nu stiam care, si ma intebam foarte serios cum aflasem vreodata de program (nici in realitate nu mi-e foarte clar – erau liste pe undeva?) In orice caz am inceput sa umblu pe la usile claselor, sa vad daca trebuie sa intru acolo. Linga usi erau tot felul de ... obiecte? pe care le ridicam, poate sint ale mele? pina a vazut cineva si mi-a dat un pix – care sigur NU era al meu. Dar am decis ca trebuie sa incerc o alta cladire, si am iesit cu un shopping cart pe roti, in care poate pusesem servieta, ba m-am urcat si eu. Am pornit la vale si tot mergeam inainte din ce in ce mai repede – foarte vesel, desi mi-era frica sa nu ma pocnesc de ceva sau cineva. Dar se termina trotoarul intr-o iarba, cam cu balti. Intre timp cartul mergea gol si eu pluteam undeva foarte sus – mi-am zis ca e vre-o out-of-body experirnce, si eram foarte incintat ca mi se intimpla asa ceva, desi mi-era clar ca out-of-body merge cu moartea clinica, dar totusi. M-am regasit in iarba, plin de noroi, si mi-am zis ca probabil am lesinat cind s-a pocnit cartul. Am continuat mai departe spre cladirea spre care pornisem. Campusul era Universitat Tel Aviv, dar foarte de nerecunoscut, cu niste cladiri enorme, intr-un stil foarte nepotrivit – nu erau urite, dar mai curind trageau la Financial Center in SF, 1900. Ce legatura cu Tel-Aviv? Si o multime de pravalii, mincare etc., si niste strazi foarte largi. Ca sa ma orientez m-am luat dupa un semn spre muzeu (Muzeon Haiahadut) dar tot nicaieri am ajuns, si i-am si spus cuiva ca n-am mai fost acolo de 30 de ani – socoteala corecta, 2008 minus PhD 1978. Vroiam sa iau autobuzul 45 la Mona, sa-i povestesc de out-of-body...

dreams n6


I was with Liliana (and beloved children?) on a day trip to a farm. Beautiful big rooms, with lived in atmosphere, but also a rustic toilet i.e. hole in the ground. But not so idyllic: the elder pair had a retarded daughter in an institution, and another divorced daughter living with them. She had a girl that was supposed to go visit her father, but they cancelled the ticket because of lack of money. The girl did not know and was very happy about the trip, although her friends knew and did not how to tell her. Eventually they used our fee for the day trip for a ticket, and we left taking the girl to the airport. All that as a play, written down with stage directions:
The farmers speak in a southern accent, which I won't try to spell.
Levi and Liliana have a heavy accent, but when alone the accent disappears, to show they speak among themselves naturally in their own tongue. He calls her Liliana when alone, Lilian when 'in public'.
The Houswife keeps pestering her husband about cleaning the toilet.

What about the children? silent roles, like in Hedda Gabler. Very unreasonable, especially since the whole trip would be for their sake.


I was driving and hit a woman. I pushed hard on the brakes and jumped out of bed with bad cramps in both legs.

dream dec/8

Ma certam cu mamere. La un moment dat imi spune:
      —Scuipa-ma cum faceai la trei luni!
Numai ca cuvintul nu era "scuipa-ma" – "sputa-ma" sau poate "stupa-ma"... La care am raspuns:
      —Si de atunci la fel fac, nu-i asa?
(ca sint convins ca am fost copil model). Si mamere mi-a zis:

dream jan2/9

Am visat ca ma scol intr-o casa necunoscuta, si nu stiu in nici un caz unde sint – Bucuresti, Israel, America? Nici o idee; foarte ofticat, ghicesc:
      —La Monterey.
La care nevasta zise:
      —Ceva mai sus.
Si atunci m-am trezit. Se si potriveste, ca sintem la San Jose, ceva mai la nord de Monterey. Dar casa din vis nu avea nici o legatura cu locuinta din San Jose.

dreams jan8-9/9

Am visat-o pe Mira, in Israel. Stiam ca se recasatorise cu cineva in America, dar se intorsese, singura. Era tare deprimata, si se ocupa cu desene animate (studia animatie?) In orice caz a deschis televizorul si ne-a pus filmele alea . Eram mai multi, la ea acasa in Holon; eu eram foarte descintat de televizor, mai ales ca filmele erau proaste, atit tehnic cit si la nivel de copii prosti, dar in schimb lungi.


Eram intr-o baza militara (Presidio?) unde nevasta lucra la spital. Eu am luat una din masini, un jeep rosu, sa ma duc – unde? am gresit drumul, si ma pregateam s-o iau pe o strada paralela, cind de-odata bum! Opresc masina, ma dau jos sa vad cine m-a pocnit (chiar in vis ma miram ca nu simt nimic) dar erau alte doua masini care se lovisera, nu problema mea. Dupa ce m-am lamurit ma intorc sa iau jeepul – nu-i. Poate iar am gresit strada? incerc alte locuri, nimic. Ma intilnesc cu un garajist, il intrb de jeep rosu – imi spune numai "Dobitoc care nu vede nici ce-i sub nas!". Gasesc o persoana caritabila sa ma ajute sa caut, ii spun ca era o statie de benzina pe strada unde lasasem jeepul, ca tocmai ma gindeam sa iau benzina cind s-a intimplat accidentul, ii povestesc de garajist. Imi spune "Asa e el pui de curva!". Ajungem amindoi la garaj, si gasim jeepul desfacut in bucatele si ascuns dupa alte piese. Nu puteam sa cred, dar imi spune "Garajistul e foarte repede daca vrea". Chem politia, vin, scriu rapoarte si pleaca fara sa-mi spuna nimic. Intre timp garajistul da drumul la apa si ulei sa ma ude sa plec; eu decid ca trebuie sa-l omor. El intre timp el seduce nevasta, si o omor pe ea. Dar reapare; eu continui sa omor garajistul, ii bag diferite cutite – cu grija sub coaste, sa atinga inima care e pe centrul pieptului – ceeace nu-l deranjeaza...

Toate astea combinate cu caţarat in copaci; deasupra garajului era un restaurant chinezesc unde am ajuns de doua ori din greseala; era si un personaj numit Papina, dar nu Papina de la Bucuresti...

dreams f17/9

In vis, eu si taticu citeam ziarul, asa ca eu mi-am luat pagina vesela.

O pisica invata sa gateasca si studiaza reteta:

... pui faina, nu mult, un deget
– Cum, sa-i tai un deget?
– Cu multa grija, ca sint lungi si scurte.
– Ah, am inteles...

Ceeace in vis mi s-a parut un banc grozav. Culmea-i ca e despre punctuatie: "un deget" e complement la "nu mult", dar e interpretat ca complement la "pui"; exclamatia: "Cum, sa-i tai un deget!?" e luata ca intrebare: "Cum sa-i tai un deget?"

Ma intreb tare de ce facea mîţa bucataria, si cum se transforma cititul in discutie... Si inca mi se pare un semn de creativitate in vis.

dreams a15/9

Am plecat din America in vizita la parinti, la casa noastra de pe Rehov Eilat. Liliana era deja in Israel, dar la ea pe Arava. M-am dus s-o vad, dupa care m-am intors acasa. Aveam o multime de jucarii pentru copii (care copii?) printre care si un telescop, cu care aveam mare pofta sa ma joc eu. Am incercat sa-l calibrez pentru doi ochi, pentru unul (i-am spus lui taticu: "nu vad deloc cu stingul" la care mi-a zis "nici eu") dar nu pre mergea. Tot timpul descopeream alte piese, tubul se lungea/scurta, etc. dar n-aveam pofta sa citesc manualul. Pina la urma l-am impachetat la loc – taticu tot timpul comenta ce lucru inutil (nu se potriveste, in realitate ii placea sa se joace cu tot felul de noutati tehnice ) pe cind eu ziceam ca trebuie sa fie mai bun ca telescopul lui Galileo, ca doar ala a fost primul, deci ar trebui sa vad cu el minuni in luna cel putin, ca sa nu mentionam vecinii. Dupa un timp am cautat din nou telescopul, dar taticu il pusese undeva bine.

Dupa care ne-am pus pe vorba, mamere zice de Liliana ca-i fata buna, ceva mai mica ca mine, dar n-am sa pot s-o aduc in America. Mi-am zis: "a uitat ca sintem casatoriti?" si de fapt stiam ca amindoi parintii mei sint morti, si ma intrebam cum imi imaginez toate astea. Un fel de asigurare: eram numai noi, deci era numai iluzia mea, nu si a altora, parca sint mai putin smintit. Dupa care mi-am zis ca trebuie sa fie prin casa ceva cu date – de exemplu socotelile lui mamere cu banca, la ziare nu m-am gindit – si pot sa verific ... ce? daca traiesc ei? daca circul eu in timp?

Dupa asta am facut baie? si vroiam sa ma imbrac. Ca totdeauna, incepe cu cautarea celor mai adinci chiloti. Deodata mi-am dat seama ca n-am chiloti, n-am valiza la mine, o lasasem la aeroport. S-o chem pe Liliana, sa ma duca la aeroport? (nu stiam sa conduc? mi-era frica sa conduc in Israel? dar nici Liliana nu avea masina). Mamere mi-a zis sa nu ma emotionez, si daca am nevoie de dolari se duce ea "la zid" si-mi face rost. Dar nu dolarii imi lipseau. Mi-a zis "uite, ai cartea de geometrie analitica, citeste mai bine si nu te preocupa" Nici asta nu se potriveste, ca tocmai geometrie analitica n-am invatat niciodata oficial... La care m-am sculat, foarte nemultumit, si cu tendinta sa-mi continui visul neplacut. Probabil am intrat in fine in depresie.

dream a28/9

We had a lot of unpleasant guests, I put something on the table but I told them that I didn't care if they took any or liked it. So they started making unpleasant remarks, turning some more people (who?) against us. Then the charwoman came with all her family. She at least liked our kids, so the atmosphere improved. But then our guests started telling them how racist we were and how we despised them because they were Oriental Jews (this is a good point to start a quarrel in Israel) so they turned against us, too.


Another "creative" dream : we had arrived to an airport in Spain, and were walking to a hotel, near gate five. We? with Liliana, or my mother, I am not sure. But she kept disappearing, and I told myself that she goes her own way, without waiting, like Liliana. We took a bus, but somehow I didn't get off when she did, so I waited at the next stop. In the meantime she bought a lot of stuff, but in the market some people stole it. I started to protest, but they felt it was a joke, the whole purchase was worth about $1. Anyway, at the end they returned it, because it did not fit. In the meantime, there was a very festive atmosphere, kids parading, freak shows, etc. They were speaking some strange dialect and did not get my attempts to Spanish, but then they answered in English or French. Carrying al the bought stuff, I started walking to gate five, uphill in some waste land. But when I got there, there were again people celebrating in the street, some hookers that tried to hook me... But there were only small houses and no hotels.


Somehow I think these unpleasant dreams come when I sleep late in the morning (late being after six or so)

dreams 8/8/9

Incepea cu o vacanta (de la armata?) pe malul unui lac destul de mare. Se putea inota, dar ce altceva de facut? Am aflat ca lacul avea si o creasta subacvatica care-l impartea in doua – ei si? Am luat o bicicleta sa merg pe malul lacului – era o sosea, si fara pante, dar mi-am dat seama ca bicicleta nu e a mea si am pus-o la loc (nu eram sigur de locul de unde am luat-o)

Dupa care am gasit un chiosc, unde faceau muzica. Ce sa vezi, un grup de amatori, prezentind o opera sau musical pe frantuzeste, se chema "L'Arabe". Nu erau destui, asa ca vocalistii alergau de colo-colo cu instrumente: o scena de duel cu sabii, unde duelgiii cintau si la vioara in acelasi timp, la care m-am hlizit. In schimb aveau decoruri, la un moment dat se ridicau niste corturi care ascundrau orchestra; corturile se aranjau in panta – muntii unde fugeau rebelii, ba chiar si un minaret, in care se catara tenorul pe o scara – toate dintr-un material ca cearsaful. Iar in ultima scena eroul tragea o arie dintr-un avion de lupta atirnat sus, urmat de alte doua de carton.
Eu admiram toate astea de la balcon; erau si niste domni care urmareau partitura, zicing "barabancic" cind trebuia sa bata toba.

dreams 7/14/9

I had so many car collisions, I avoided one car only to hit another. Then I realized I cannot see in all directions from the car, which was a good reason to hit others. Somehow Michiduta and Liliana and Mona were all involved. So I decided not to drive in the dark.

Premonition? today I must go to Salinas for a diabetes checkup, and stop on the way to work with Mikey.


I was going to a checkup with my mother and father. We were in a bus, with all kind of strange occurencs: a little girl who kept opening the door for air, a child who fell off the bus – or so it seemed, he actually had run after the bus to meet his sister, then both plunged into some dirty rain water that made a little pond. Then we got down at the wrong station, but climbed back. Finally, when we arrived and were ready to get off, somebody came looking for Radu. Nobody answered, finally I realized it's me. He showed me an official form, filled by hand in Hebrew, all I had time to see was Liviu Radu Lustman. –Is that you? –Yes. –Fine, put the form in the box. (he had a box on his belt)

That was all, but still suggests Molhamuvas.

Then we returned, at home (on Ein Iahav) there was a package for me, the Wikipedia on a disk and some Hanukka cookies, very dry and probably spoiled (it was summer). But my parents were glad about the wikipedia: –Now Grandma will finally find out everything about Mao Zedong! –Didn't he die? –He won't die, it's too late.

Plus they took me to see the new housekeeper, although I was only wearing underpants. She had a cat, and the cat one kitten which looked very small, skinny and unfurry – more like a mouse. But anyway, it was alive and the cat took care of it, so I deduced it was a pre-term birth.

dreams 7/25/9

Jesus in Sweden

I was in Sweden, and took the elevator to a special room for Bible studies. There were many books, and some people reading. Then I went down on the elevator; this took me behind the altar of a large church. By the altar there was a stone, with a golden sword hilt coming out of it on top.

Then the hero came and pulled out the shining sword – clearly a miracle, as everybody knew that the stone with the hilt were just stucco ornaments. It was Christ, and he started speaking to the crowd, but nobody took notice. In the meantime, some kids were lead by a smarmy miss around the altar – this was a Bar Mitzva which they had decided should be held in the church, for the sake of pluralism. Jesus was rather upset: "Next week I'll go to San Francisco, maybe the Americans will understand me!"

Then I returned to the bible study room. Jesus showed me a little book: "The truth, it will kill you!" – I had to read it, full of resentment that God wants such a price for truth. But I woke up before I found the truth or died.
All of it in "Swedish", which was a strange language that I understood, although I realized it was fake. There were some "-et" endings, the definite article.


The tower

I was walking on the beach, and passed behind a dune, where I knew the path will go on. But there was a big green wall. So, they have been building – I tried to turn back, another green wall. How come? as I got in, there must be a way out. But only sand at the bottom and the walls on both sides. Then I realized there was a window in front of me, and started to remove panes, maybe to crawl out. In the meantime the whole setup rose, so I was high above the beach. There were also houses, people puttering in their gardens. I tried to attract attention, banged with my keys on the window – nothing. I kept throwing panes, but they were plastic, fluttered down slowly, did not break and made little noise. In any case, nobody noticed.

Then there was an opening behind me, and I entered some big office building. Actually I was in the toilet, there were a few people sitting on some contraptions, I did not want to bother them, so I went through one door, to the same situation: a corridor with walls at both ends. Could not even return to the toilet. Then there was a way out, but that was just an open sewer, flowing down the tower on a spiral. The sewage had accumulated, and there was a cleaning? woman sunk in it, only the face coming out. I tried to talk to her, she did not understand English. I tried Spanish – somehow she communicated she was hiding, because she was Arab.

Eventually I got out, and there were a few people to receive me. I asked where, I was, how to get out, but they said:"first, breakfast". So I had to order breakfast:
– Bread?
– Toast, no butter.
– Eggs?
– ...
But they gave me "shirred eggs": a raw egg scrabbled over fried eggs, to be cooked by their heat.
– Coffee?
– Decaf.
– Before or after?
– Excuse me?
– Pay before or after?
I had no cash.
– Can I give you my shirt?
– OK.
Then the cashier returned some change:
– Here is a
It was a small, nice coin, with the portrait of the queen.
– The qqqa is legal tender in the United Kingdom and in Qqqb.

In the meantime the cafeteria filled out. I put the fork in my plate, somebody protested:
– This is not yours!
– How do you know?
– Because it's mine.
So I left, and kept asking people how to get out. Nobody answered. When someone did start to speak to me, another came from behind and injected him, at which he fell unconscious. The other gave me the needle.
– Where do I throw it?
– In the yellow qqqc.

I kept walking, and I found a place where a doctor with a few nurses were testing a baby girl, everybody smiling and giggling; there were also other people around, all silent. The girl was very small, about 2 ft tall, but could talk. The doctor showed her a strange inscription with three vertical lines of unknown characters:
– Can you read?
– Yes.
– So what story do you read?
– A beautiful story.
That was probably not the right answer, because they shut her in a box; the girl's giggling turned into weeping, muffled by the box. Everybody stopped smiling, and the people around were talking to each other. From all this I deduced that the basic rule is that nobody will give you any information, and you must figure everything by yourself – no pity for anyone who breaks the rule, or figures out wrong.

In another room they were shopping for DVDs, but these were lifesize human figures, moving and talking. One recited something, saying "lood" for "loud" – I thought she was reading the text and just guessed at the pronunciation. So the image got minimized to about 1/2 foot, made immobile, and put on a shelf.

Then I was in the bathroom again. I was afraid to leave, because I was almost sure I won't be able to return; I wanted to blend, so I pulled down my pants and sat on the whatever, which squirted water on my arse. There were many people, women as well as men, but not all men had a penis. So two women made some remarks about my penis, but I did not understand what they meant. I guessed that not every male was allowed to breed.

Finally I woke up.

10/20/9 , on ship

With Liliana at some resort. We discovered a cave and were walking along it, very long and dry, lighted. We were alone all the way. Suddenly a big chunk of flesh thrown in the corridor. I thought: for what beasts? and they appeared, not really identifiable, maybe a thylacine ? But there were also people behind us, who shooed the animals away. The whole setup was a machine to transform people into zombies. Some were put into closets, or had some plugs shoved in their mouth... I was not particularly frightened, rather curious what would happen to me.

10/23/9 , on ship

Lauda-ma gura, ca ti-oi da friptura.

I was in school at PE, wrestling. Of course, I would always be the worst. I got to wrestle with the local bully and I won. I asked him: "Why did you let me win?" and he said: "So you know what it's like". We became friends, and I helped his girlfriend with math. That girl was very ambitious, and worked hard to excel in everything, although she did not have much talent. Since I was a friend of the bully, the others left me alone. When we graduated from school, they told us: "Now go in the big world!" I thought that the bully won't be there to protect me, so I said "No, I won't!"

So I went on studying. I was at the registrar's with all the other students who brought a lot of money and cashier checks for fees. When my turn came, I only gave them my name:
 — Levi Lustman.
The clerk , without looking up , said:
 — But, miss... (I had not given any payment)
Then he checked some more and said:
 — $2.50
Everything else was covered by grant. So I threw in all the coins in my pocket and said: "Keep the change".

Soon my friend got killed in some gang war, and I married his girlfriend, whom I admired very much. She was a much more rounded personality than me, all achieved by big effort, while I knew math only, and just because I enjoyed it.

At some point in the dream ther was also a list of my placements:

which meant some first, some first and second (only the third was awarded after me) and my placement in physical education.


There was some fair, or competition. One of the things to compete was an underwater maze, and I was deliberating whether to try. I even got an id coupon, but instead of swimming I started calculating the O(2N) steps to solve the worst case of a binary maze, with decent math even dreaming.

The very interesting thing is how it started, just with the image of a few head tops showing above the water surface, some bald. I don't think I have this visual imagination when awake.


We were at my parent's house on Ein Iahav and I was meeting the family of Mike's (?) bride: her sister, younger brother and parents. Everything very natural, except that I was dressed as a Wanjiji chief for the occasion, and lying on the sofa in the main room. The bride's mother also came to lie on the sofa, leaning on her right elbow, so I shook her left hand, and thought: How dumb of me! (then we shook hands normally) The bride's father came from behind with scissors and started cutting at my costume – they needed the kitchen apron that was part of it (the whole was held together with cellotape). Anyway, I went to change in my room, but the sister was also changing there, so I went to the bathroom. I took care to open the window, so it won't be too hot.

I was sleeping with two blankets, and probably awoke from the heat.


I was the crown prince and had been shot by revolutionaries around age 10. I did not die, but spent a few years in coma. When I woke up, they told me "You should read some of the children/teenager books you missed." Anyway, I was walking in the city – somewhat like San Francisco, beautiful streets above the sea. My mother was selling ice cream, and I got some free, of course. Then I wondered why should a queen sell ice-cream? I got the answer in the dream: royalty was actually divine, the conduit between humans and gods, so they should live the life of common people, in order to inform the gods accurately.

Then I was a child again, with other children in front of a bookstore? museum? with a big notice "It's never too early to learn to read", and an exhibition of several books with outstanding calligraphy. Somebody invited me for a ride on a motorcycle, and I realized that was the occasion for the anarchists to shoot me, as we passed through a preassigned place.

Finally I became king, fully titled "the n'th ruler of the m'th generation of the dynasty" according to some complex succession rules.


I was with my mother and father on some cruise, and we were visiting several hilltops with scenic views of a lake below. That was more or less the situation of Tzfat above Kineret, but the plain and the lake were called Europa for some reason. There were lots of people speaking Romanian among the tourists. As my mother was talking with one of them, she put her purse on the wall – we were on a sightseeing terrace, taking pictures, and I moved gracefully as ever, and the purse fell off the cliff into the pool of a hotel in the plain below. My mother started running on stairs to get it back, although I tried to convince her to get a car, there must be some connection, and certainly you can't climb all the way back. But she disappeared and actually retrieved the purse, although everything was spoiled by the water, especially our passports. Then we got on the plain to a restaurant, but I had lost my parents. They were giving lunch coupons, but I could not get any. Tourist busses kept coming, and there were big crowds, and at some point I almost got pushed into the lake – it was very clear, with some starfish visible. Anyway, my mother found me, and we got into the restaurant, but they had run out of food. I volunteered to cook, in French, I even told them I was very good. One waiter said: "Up to now, everybody spoke Romanian", and I repeated I could cook in Romanian, so he ordered some typical steak "fleici", at which I said I had intended to cook shakshuka, much faster. In the meantime, I had again lost my parents and was looking for them in all kinds of secret halls of the restaurant, which weren't dining rooms, but show floors...

The strange thing is that during the dream, at many points where there were turns to the worse, I told myself "Now I wake up, it's getting too messy" but I didn't. When I did wake up it was 8:30, so I should have been very proud, but I become more and more convinced that if I sleep late I get bad dreams (although quite vivid). And, of course, once I woke up, my only desire was to lie back to sleep, but I had to go and pick up my glasses from the optometrist.


My father was reading my site, and I told him I was adding stuff. And I started updating, everything from my old schoolboy desk in our room at home in Romania.


I was working, or studying at a meteorology institute; there was another guy in my position. We also had two instructors, to bring us up to speed in the subject. One showed us a model which had an iso-line (for what quantity?) all around the continents.
iso lines
I said "This shows a constant value all over the
Atlantic", at which he answered "Not constant, but varies by less than the inter-line value". Then the other instructor told us he did not really believe that model.

Then I remembered, vaguely, that I had already published a meteorology paper, maybe at NPS or the Navy Lab, which, of course, were very much into meteorology. I had an image of the world map with winds, and remembered part of the title "Large Scale...". It was based on spectral methods, and I thought the spectral coefficients economically saved all the details of the climate.

I started searching for that paper, but then the dream took its usual "can't" form: could not start the computer – which looked like a plain copybook, but reacted when you wrote on it – was in the wrong room for the meeting where some other people were discussing something else, could not remember where the right room was, because I had been fighting with the computer when the instructor announced it, etc...


I just added the dream section yesterday. We had also talked about David Gottlieb. Maybe it turned my mind to "creative". Anyway, it was so vivid and seemed so real, that I checked in the morning the Science Citation Index, but they want $$$.

It's interesting to see how much of the stuff the dreams are made of is real science:


I was visiting Imre in a new house. He also had some fruit trees in the yard, and I wanted to pick some cherries, although it was late in the season for them. There were some big and deep purple fruit, but not cherries, these were eggplants. Finally I found some, which tasted rather watery. I returned to the house, there were many young people, much younger than me, not to mention Imre. So I found myself a book: the book of the dead, in the Viking version, stories and poems about death, with a big appendix in runes and some other mysterious scripts. I decided to go home and took the book – by that time it was also clear that Imre was dead.

At this point it turns into my typical dream: I could not find a taxi to go home (from LA to Holon; or at least to the bus station in LA, to continue by bus) I could not move properly my arms after surgery, and on top of everything the thick book started desintegrating, quires kept falling off... And all the time I was walking around, to find a big enough street so taxis might pass by – this walk sometimes over roofs and on top a vine canopy covering a garden.

I set the date for heart surgery for Sep 22, let's see how prophetic.

dreams 8/22/2011

dream zero

cleaning the table, doing the dishes; new dirty dishes keep appearing

Typical unpleasant dream, meaning I should wake up: too hot, or go to toilet.

dream one

Some kind of game: we got (in school?) booklets specifying the situation and some info about the main persons. Everything in some vague country, in conflict with a neighbor; maybe across the Iron Curtain? There were also some instructions about actions to actually perform, and a report form:

These reports, from the various players, would form the book. I was in a team with Liliana.

Anyway, my character had to leave at a certain hour, pass through a certain location in the city, and arrive to another location. (the city and the streets had strange, almost familiar names, in some fabricated language). So anyway, I left, walking through a long corridor of Wistaria, which I remember admiring. But when I got out of the garden, I realized I had forgotten the itinerary. I thought about returning home, and then go to my destination in a taxi. But I was almost sure I did not keep the instruction (too secret, of course). So I dropped the whole thing.

Later I told Liliana about the flop. Then suddenly I got an idea. I can send the report later: "Agent M.E. has been found stabbed in his room by the charwoman, who only comes Wednesdays afternoon". It's a whodunit, ain't it? That will add some spice and keep the game afoot.

Then I woke up very satisfied.

dream two

A continuation of dream 1

Two characters, both myself: the agent and his son, who is still in high school. The agent was a low scale operator in a spy? ring; when his contact called, he had to walk the central station, to reach it during rush hour. Somebody (unknown) would slip something in his coat pocket, to be picked out on the way home by somebody else (unknown). The agent would then get a small payment, which he badly needed, as he was a linguistics major, and lived mainly from foreign languages lessons.

The son comes home with a strange story: his last class had started, when he was called to the sports coach. He did not find the coach, and when returning to class, inside were another teacher and another class. Tried some other classrooms: none with his teacher or his class. So he went to the main office:

"Miss Prism, where is Mrs Ratio teaching now?"
"Well, check the computer."
Nothing on the computer.
"Miss Prism, will you, please, check yourself?"
"You really are a nuisance. Here, clearly, she teaches nothing at this hour!"
"But the class had already started with her..."
Finally, since it was late anyway, the son went directly home.

Then the agent gets a call from his contact:

"I'd like to talk to you. The usual place."

So they meet at 5, in the biggest crowd. The contact says:

"Here's your part on our lottery win ..."
and gives him some money, which the agent puts in his pocket. The agent hisses:
"Idiot, how many times I told you not to touch your coat pocket till you get home!"
They walk together to some bar which the agent never visited. There he tells his contact about his son's adventure:
"That Mrs Ratio, she teaches math?"
"No, English; it's her real name. Mike has had her for a few years already, and likes her."
"How's your son at school?"
"Fine, he passes, a few 10s, no 6s. Really OK."

dream 11/19/12

I was flying. It was Yom Kipur, and people were walking about, but nobody noticed me flying. Than I sat on a high branch of a tree. Someone noticed: "How did he get there? Helicopter". Then I showed them I could fly, and got invited to come and visit later, after the fast.

Then I kept flying, over Maabarot, some neighboring place, craggy mountains and some fancy winter scenery. I thought "Here the world end and snow begins".

On the way I also flew over a religious kibutz: everybody was out, aligned, in white shirts while the cantor sang "Baruk xeptaranu mikol hamitzvot" "Blessed He who liberated us from all religious duties", which is probably my version of Kol Nidrei.

Actually, I wanted to get home, but kept drifting instead. Besides, there were a lot of wires, which I had to avoid in my flight. Somehow I had two pillows with me, and I thought I could use them as insulators in case I hit a wire. I threw one pillow at the wires, it burst in flames. I kept flying, sometimes getting lodt in buildings, farther and farther from home.

Which, I think, is a good summary of my existence: with some special ability, I can enjoy the view, and I certainly aint the master of my fate. In fact, I am pushed by drafts and blocked by wires... The dream I is, in this case, wiser than the awake I. But why Yom Kipur?

end of dreams

«  ... zicînd "barabancic" cind trebuia sa bata toba

Asta fiindca m-am sculat intr-o zi la patru, si inainte de lucru am apucat sa vad versia sovietica (1933) a "Locotenentului Kije" : parade, executii si pohod na Sibir cu tobosari.

Si nu ma pot abtine sa nu adaug si imnul polonez:

Już tam ojciec do swej Basi
Mówi zapłakany:
"Słuchaj jeno, pono nasi
Biją w tarabany.
     There father to his Basia,
Speaks with a tear:
"Listen, now, can you hear ours
Beating the kettle-drums?"

Care toate: baraban, taraban, darabana de trag din araba "daraba" "a lovi" plus multa onomatopee. Iar daca tinem la imnul polonez, prima strofa,

Jeszcze Polska nie zginęła,
Kiedy my żyjemy.
Co nam obca przemoc wzięła,
Szablą odbierzemy.
     Poland has not yet perished
So long as we live.
What foreign force has seized,
We'll reclaim with sabre.

o stie toata lumea; dar fiind una din putinele cintece care le stiu de la inceput la sfirsit si le cint cu incredere, nu pot rezista sa nu adaug un alt cintec care-l stiu de la inceput la sfirsit si-l cint cu incredere,

... Fra guerrieri, poffar Bacco!
Gran mustacchi, stretto sacco,
Schioppo in spalla, sciabla al fianco ...
      ... Among soldiers, by Bacchus!
A huge moustache, a tight knapsack,
Gun on your back, sword at your side ...
Care szabla = sciabla ne aduce inapoi la opera si duel ; cuvintele probabil se trag dim maghiara "szablya" "instrument de taiat", de la "szabni" " a taia", ca si "Sabel", "sabre","sabie", etc.

Cit despre "Non piu andrai, farfallone amoroso", am fost foarte jignit ca nu mi l-a cintat nimeni cind m-au luat la armata (m-ar fi consolat? dar cel putin as fi simtit ca nu sint singur pe lume).

«  I was wondering whether to return to USA
«  ... maybe I was supposed to teach

These are standard themes in my dreams. I am in Israel, working, sometimes employed by Tel Aviv University, and/or the military. In the middle of whatever, I remember that I missed the class I should be teaching. Or the new semester has just started, and I don't know the courses assigned to me. Somehow it is too late to ask the secretaries. I never worry about the subject matter, just when and where exactly the classes are held.

It actually happened in real life that I arrived at 2pm for a class scheduled at 1pm, but just twice in 5 years, once at Tel Aviv and once at MIT. The strange thing is that it was sometime in the middle of the course, and when I got to class I was firmly convinced that I taught at 2pm.

Then, when I dream I am in Israel, I often worry whether I should return to research in USA, because I know that my math is over.

«  ... firmly convinced that 2pm was the scheduled time, after having taught many times already at 1pm.

Even more fantastic was being asked, at the bus station, if bus 90 gets to the police station. I promptly answered 'No!'; but in fact the bus did get there, and I used it almost every day, and my home was one station after the Holon police. The thing that struck me is that I had no intention to deceive – I was quite convinced of what I said.

What it probably means is that I need a long time to get into the subject – if asked point blank, the circuits get scrambled. On the other hand, I am aware that there are several possibilities (yes or no, in this case) and the more I think in order to discern between them, the higher the chance of getting a wrong answer.

«  Si nu ma pot abtine sa nu adaug si imnul polonez:

De asta am aflat din "Tin Drum" al lui Gunther Grass plus un antic film israelian, uimitor de bun, in care aprea Pani Jeszczepolska. Dupa care, observind ca are o muzica tare frumoasa – mazurca, l-am invatat pe dinafara cam pe cind urma croaziera in Baltica. (Ca nu ajungem in Polonia n-am observat) N-am reusit sa impresionez pe nimeni cu aceste profunde cunostiinte, desi polonezi nu lipsesc – covrigii polonezi da!

«  ... the elevator changes direction abruptly

This is another standard dream of mine. Suddenly elevators start to go horizontally. This was already old when the first "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" was made, showing precisely such a device – I felt that was stolen from me. I am so accustomed to non-vertical elevators, that I usually realize I'm dreaming, and wait expectantly for what will come about.

The old ladies and the holding bar are a new development, I'm probably getting aware of my age.

«  ... baraban, taraban, darabana de trag din araba "daraba" "a lovi" plus multa onomatopee

Cuvintul "onomatopee" mi-a luat cam un sfert de ora de cautare frenetica pe internet, engleza si romana, si prin Cioranescu (care foloseste numai "creatie expresiva"). Pina la urma mi-a cazut fisa, dar tot l-am scris "onomatopeie"

«  ... the cashier returned some change: " Here is a qqqa." It was a small, nice coin ...

All the qqq-words are some strange ones that I can't remember, and which I didn't recognize in my dream.

«  un duel cu sabii, unde duelgiii cintau si la vioara in acelasi timp

Bineinteles, nu se potriveste, ca la vioara se cinta cu doua miini, si cu care mina spadasasinezi? Dar vezi dnul Burghez, "The Pianoplayers", cu o piesa pentru arcus pe strune libere, pentru scrimeur stingaci.

Si nu lipsea nici celistul circulind cintind, direct de la Woody Allen.

«  Sa laudam pe domnul dumnezeul nostru, motanul si crocodilul!

Asta-i un cintecel de cind imi scriam jurnalul in ebraica. Motanul, pe care intr-adevar il divinizam, e Şmuţi. Toata gaselnita e ca dumnezeul asta e monoteistic: motanul si crocodilul sint doua aspecte ale aceleiasi divinitati. Desi motanul e mic, caldicel si moale, iar crocodilul mare, rece si aspru la solzi.
getullie & croccodilie

«  The Beviers were tinkering about, hammering at night, quarreling in Japanese.

They are our neighbors in Monterey, and were always fixing their house as long as they could. They also served in the military in Japan, and can speak Japanese.

Dream arithmetic:

I recently dreamed I was at home in Bucharest, and the whole family was preparing for a cruise, but my grandmother wanted to remain at home. Then I thought I should present my grandchildren to her, and realized she must be 120 or so: I was born when my mother was 36, Nomi was born when I was 27, she is already 30, and my grandmother must have been at least twenty when my mother was born. How didn't I notice? Even in the dream it seemed quite exceptional. Wasn't it dangerous to leave her alone? No, she would manage.

In reality she would not, she never left the house for as long as I knew her.


In another dream, in Bucharest of course, with my parents, of course; my father was preparing to go to work, but then, since I am 60 and my father was 43 when I was born ... As soon as I realized how old he was, he got a heart attack.

In reality he died of his second heart attack.

«  I realized I had forgotten the itinerary.
«  Tried some other classrooms...

Very realistic: I don't know where I want to go. It's guaranteed I will forget names and numbers, even if I know everything else; in this case the name of the street, or the number of the classroom.

«  Ratio ... is her real name.

I had a teacher called Mrs Raţiu for all my English classes in the Romanian high school. She was a very nice person. Justi met her when he went to pick up his certificates, before leaving for Israel, and she said "Good luck!" sincerely, with a big smile. That was not at all the common attitude at the time (she was not Jewish).

«  Fine, he passes, a few 10s, no 6s.

In that dream high school, ten is the best grade, six the minimum passing grade.

«  ... I had intended to cook shakshuka, much faster.

Shakshuka is a cheap meal of onion, peppers and tomatoes cooked in olive oil on low fire. At the end, add some eggs and mix just till they congeal. The first time I tried it at a stall in Israel, it was a revelation, on the level of clam chowder or hush puppies. Strangely enough, nobody I know actually likes it.

«  niste domni care urmareau partitura, zicing "barabancic" cind trebuia sa bata toba

O fi gerundul englez in "-ing" in loc de gerundul romanesc in "-înd"?

«  I was explaining my divine music ...

I should make a presentation for a new interview. This group does quantum chemistry (!) to build a newimproved catalytic converter for Diesel emissions control. Somehow they accepted my music and language programs as AI ...

«  dentist ... graduated in Israel

The point being that, for a long time, it was rather impossible to get into a medical school in Israel. At a certain point – more or less 1970 – there was a total of 60 places in all the universities, and all the Jewish mothers planning for "my son the doctor". "My daughter" too, there was never any sex distinction in the profession.

«  ... sa ma imbrac ... incep cu cautarea celor mai adinci chiloti

Intre timp nevasta mi-a luat masura urmatoare la chiloti si pijamale, in care chiar incap.

«  ... Hleatcu

We sat at the same desk for three years in middle school. I suspect that most of his achievement was copying from me all written exams ( our teachers sometimes had two different subjects for those sitting on the right and on the left of the desk )
Why did he appear in the dream, on a beach in Israel?

«  Anyway, I left, with the usual misery

This is my standard deram: I try to do something and it won't work, then I try again, and again it fails, and I keep trying... It seems more frequent now than before, but it's nothing new. The strange thing are the various details: why it doesn't work, people around criticizing, etc.

«  ... still suggests Molhamuvas.

This is the angel of death, in Yidish; Malakh Hamavet in Hebrew, Malak Almawt in Arabic.

«  ma miram ca nu simt nimic

Am avut doua accidente mergind in viteza pe sosea (in total – lauda-ma gura!) si in amindoua cazurile m-am mirat ca nu sint lovit, n-am vinatai de la curea si nimic nu ma doare.

«  As for dancing the tarantella – I only dance at weddings...

I dream about weddings quite often now.

«  At Tel-Aviv University, in an office which was also Nima's room

«  Numai ca cuvintul nu era "scuipa-ma" ... poate "stupa ma"...

Asta-i prea freudian. "Ştupen" e "a fute" in idiş.

«  Somehow Michiduta and Liliana and Mona were all involved.

«  Faptul ca nu vroiau sa raspunda – tacerea, cei mai tacuti sint mortii.

«  Ma mere renova apartamentul ala, ca sa-l vindem

Visez asta foarte des: inclusiv tapetele noi, parte din casa care inca nu-i gata, certuri cu meseriasii care ma deranjeaza, proiecte marete de constructie: inca un etaj... Si de fapt sint in trecere la Bucuresti, vreau in Israel. Ce fac la Bucuresti? cam nimic, desi uneori ma duc la liceu, dar stiu ca n-am de ce, ca doar am doctorat.

«  This is my standard deram

Poate deraiam?

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